Restless Moments
by vairetwilight
Summary: Kamerreon's Drabble Challenge -- A drabble a day until my imagination dies... hopefully that won't be soon. 100 drabble snapshots of the life of Harry and his man. Slash.
1. Birth

Disclaimer: I dont own any recognisable characters. All HP belongs to JK Rowling.

**Warning:** Slash, Swearing, Adult Situations, Possible Violence, Angst etc  
**A/N: **This is a repsonse to Kamerreon's Yahoo Group drabble challenge. A drabble a day. I decided to keep these drabbles in the same 'universe' with one pairing. Harry and a mystery character, which you all get to have fun guessing. Hints on who it is will be dropped throughout the series. The first person to guess right gets a oneshot. Also _italics _is can be replaced with mystery mans name when you work it out.

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**Birth**

There had been rumours that Harry Potter was on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. A first year on the team! He's either a prodigy or he bought his way on the team. Nothing's too unattainable for Dumbledore's Golden Boy. Nobody even knew if he could really fly or not. The Slytherin's will wipe him off the field. He's a twig!

_He_ couldn't believe how small Potter looked beside Wood, and absolutely terrified. As they took off it was obvious to everyone that Potter...no Harry...was born to be in the air. When he caught the snitch, even with all that broom trouble, that was it there was no going back for _him_. It was the birth of an obsession. He was mine, whether he knew it or not.


	2. Choice

Disclaimer: Rowling owns it all. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Drabble Two: Published 2 Sept 2009

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**Choice**

_He_ watched as Malfoy let out yet another callous remark to Harry about not having parents to go home at Christmas to.

Hate rushed through him. A hate the likes of which _he_ had never felt before. At that moment _he_ hated Malfoy.

_He_ hated the Potters.

_He _hated Harry.

But most of all _He _hated himself.

All of it was irrational, _he_ knew that. _He _knew Malfoy only acted that way because it was how he was raised, in which he had no choice. He knew the Potters had no choice about living or dying when faced with the Dark Lord. _He_ knew Harry had no choice about how _he_ felt for him.

And _he...He_ never had a choice to make once he saw Harry.


	3. Awake

**Disclaimer: **I really wish I did own this then I wouldn't have huge uni fees to pay. I can dream at least...right?

**A/N: ***cackles* keep guessing people. Drabble 3: Thursday 3 Sept 2009

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**Awake**

Harry was awake...always awake. He hadn't slept in days.

He could feel their eyes on him.

_His_ eyes on him.

Harry knew _he_ was watching him constantly. A steady weight on the back of his head, he wasn't sure when he first recognised it but it was a near constant presence. The only time he didn't feel it was in class or in the Tower, where there were a dozen other eyes on him anyway, or when he laid in bed, shut behind curtains. The curtains became a physical barrier to represent the isolation Harry felt even when surrounded by friends. They wouldn't understand.

So Harry laid awake at night contemplating the gaze and its owner and wondering why he felt so safe whenever those eyes were on him. And if he fell asleep, well it was only natural that he dreamt of those eyes as well.


	4. Sun and Moon

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is the intellectual property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I am unfortunately neither.

**A/N: **Drabble 4: published 4 Sept 2009

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**Sun and Moon**

_His_ obsession was unhealthy, _he _could recognise that. _He _probably knew more about Harry than the Mudblood, Weasley or even Dumbledore. _He _knew his habits, his likes and dislikes and his expressions.

_He _knew Harry nibbled on knuckle of his thumb when he was nervous. That he pulled on his hair when frustrated. _He _knew the month before and the month after Summer Break Harry barely ate. _He _knew Harry was deathly afraid of abandonment and that Harry knew the mudblood and Weasley loved him a lot less than he loved them.

_He _knew it was unhealthy but Harry was his sun and moon. Life would not survive without him.


	5. Restless

Disclaimer: I dont own any recognisable characters. All HP belongs to JK Rowling.

**A/N: **Sorry this one is late but I was out all yesterday and FF has been rejecting the file since Friday night *pouts* We must all thank Kamerreon for suggesting a way to get around this. So a double posting today. This is Drabble Five for Sat 5 Sept.

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**Restless**

'You shouldn't be outside so late,' the voice was quiet but Harry recognised it easily.

'I'm Restless,' laughter met Harry's comment.

The soft noise of footsteps on grass followed before a pair of strong arms wrapped around Harry's waist from behind. Harry couldn't help but smile at the feeling of warmth and protection that surrounded him as the other's face came to nuzzle behind his ear before:

'I'm sure we could find something to do to cure your restlessness,' was whispered to him.

A quick spin and drop had Harry pinned to the ground with the _other's _body on him. Dark eyes watching him with affection.

'I'm sure we could.'


	6. Sleep

Disclaimer: Rowling owns it all. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Drabble Six: Published Sun 6 Sept 2009. This and Drabble 7 are probably my favourites so enjoy.

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**Sleep**

It was endless.

One hall after another.

Why couldn't he find it?

Where had they hidden it?

He was so close. Somehow he knew it wasn't much further.

There. The door at the end of the Hall of Time.

So close.

His hand stretches out.

The door begins to open.

His excitement reaches heightened levels.

Finally.

After so long.

He takes a step forward.

He's awake.

And the disappointment floods him.

Red eyes burn with unrestrained anger in his mind.

His breathing eventually calms. In another hour he's asleep and red eyes turn to a darker colour.

Harry both hates and loves to sleep


	7. Nature

**Disclaimer: **I still, tragically, don't own HP or its affiliates

**A/N: **Drabble 7 published Mon 7 Sept

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**Nature**

Nature was a curious thing, _he _mused as _he _sat on the grass holding Harry against _his _body. While your world falls apart around you, nature just goes on. The world keeps turning, the trees still sway, the grass still grows, the sun will still rise and set even if you're trapped in the dark of your mind, suffocating on your grief.

Sirius Black was dead. The centre of Harry's universe was gone and _he _hated himself for feeling glad about it. Hated that it caused so much pain to what was _his. _

_He _watched the lake from where they sat underneath a tree. A tree _he _knew Sirius Black once sat under. And life went on around them. Nature stopped for no man's pain.

And if it had started raining heavily as Harry's sobs renewed and _his _arms tightened around him, well surely that was a coincidence.


	8. First Kiss

**Disclaimer: **Everything HP belongs to JK and Warner Bros.

**A/N:** Drabble 8 Tues Sept 8. I hadn't actually planned to put this drabble up til later but I didn't want people hating him after last chapter (Kam). Feel the Love. :)

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**First Kiss**

They'd been seeing each other in secret for months now, meeting at night or in the early morning beneath a large tree by the lake. Everything they did had to be a secret as Harry feared the repercussions. Already Harry was a social pariah over the Heir of Slytherin rumours.

It was on one such night in February that the two sat below the tree hidden from view and bundled in cloaks that they shared their first kiss.

-

Harry sat between _his _legs watching the lake as _he _watched Harry. _He_ ran _his_ hand through Harry's hair lightly before tipping his head and making eye contact, silently asking a question. _His _answer came in the form of the tip of Harry's small tongue coming out to wet his lips and his eyes fluttering shut.

As _he _swooped in to kiss Harry _he_ couldn't help but look forward to the day _he _didn't have to do this in secret.


	9. Flirty

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own

**A/N: Drabble 9 - Wed Sept 9th **Hopefully this will help all those poor souls who are going insane trying to work out who the mystery man is. I love every one of your guesses :)

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**Flirty**

Quidditch was no doubt not a concept one would associate with flirting but they had it down to an art. A quick spin had Harry diving under and skimming past _him, _Harry's hand sweeping across _his_ leg even as he shot after the snitch only for it to disappear again.

Harry wasn't the only one flirting in this dangerous game. With the Quaffle under one arm _he _went shooting past Harry, cutting off his flight path, before rocketing towards the goal posts and scoring yet again. As the other Chasers celebrated around _him_, _he _and Harry locked eyes before, with a smirk; Harry dove for snitch hovering just below their bodies.

Quidditch brought flirting to an all new level.


	10. Lonely

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own

**A/N: Drabble 10 - **I know its a day late but i'm having major laptop problems at the moment so the drabbles will probably come in chunks at random times. But a question for anyone that has any computer knowledge - the background light on my laptop has disappeared I can only see the screen if I shine a light at it - What did I do and how the hell do I fix it?  
I also appologise for any spelling errors - I'm writing this in the Doc Manager on the site :)

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**Lonely**

Luna knew she saw things that others didn't or couldn't understand. It had always set her apart. When Luna met Harry she found a kindred spirit. Harry saw the same things she did, he understood things nobody else could. Harry accepted Luna as she was, something no one else had done for her. They saw the same emotions in each others eyes; the anger, sadness, the agonising knowledge of the way the world really works, and the incredible loneliness.

But when Luna was with Harry she wasn't Lonely.

Most importantly though, when Luna saw _them _together she was happy. Luna knew in those moments Harry would be with her for a long time, he wouldn't take that risk that would get him killed. In those moments Harry was no longer lonely.


	11. Intimidated

**Disclaimer: **Everything HP belongs to JK and Warner Bros.

**A/N:** Drabble 11 Fri Sept 11.  
And I know that I'm missing an apostrophe on the word others (throughout this drabble) but I can't remember where it goes and have no time to work it out.

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**Intimidated**

The first time they met face-to-face alone Harry was intimidated. Not, like most would think, by the other. Sure _he _was Slytherin, and older, and so much bigger (though truthfully Harry knew it wasn't that hard to be bigger than him). No Harry was intimidated by what he saw in the others dark eyes. They swirled with emotions Harry couldn't quite understand.

Harry was intimidated by the warmth that spread through him as their eyes locked, by the happiness he felt as the other smiled, by the tingles that travelled his body as he was pulled into a hug.

Most of all Harry was intimidated by the promise all of these actions held. It was a very sad thing, Harry would later muse, that he had been so intimidated by love.


	12. Sunrise

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is the intellectual property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I am unfortunately neither.

**A/N: **Drabble 12 (a day early so you don't have to wait) :)

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**Sunrise**

Harry loved moments like these. When they found time to sneak away, time to just exist together.

Lying under what Harry had begun to think of as their tree, he felt peace. There was no pressure. Snuggled in _his _arms Harry was safe from the world. For a moment Voldemort stopped existing, it didn't matter that Sirius was on the run, the dreams stopped plaguing his every waking thought.

Lying here with _him_ everything was okay. Lying here Harry knew no matter how dark things got, he at least was guaranteed a personal sunrise just beyond the horizon.


	13. Hero

Disclaimer: I dont own any recognisable characters. All HP belongs to JK Rowling.

**A/N:** I apologise for all the late drabble postings. I'm currently borrowing my dad's laptop, hopefully mine will be fixed soon. And so many people have been guessing. *cackles* If you guess and actually want confirmation as to the answer than let me know in the review and i'll try to respond to the reviews as soon as possible.  
Drabble 13.

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**Hero**

'He's back! He's back! Voldemort is back!'

He had no legitimate reason to see Harry, so hours after the end of the final task _he _snuck into the Hospital Wing. Sitting by Harry's bed and holding his hand _he _mused that there were very few statements _he _had ever wanted to hear less. Of course with Voldemort back no doubt Harry would utter those other statements as well. Harry would undoubtedly try to save _him _by distancing himself. Did he not realize that when it came to Harry _he _was far beyond saving or even being able to live without Harry?

No _he _would stick by Harry as others succumbed to the pressure and left. Harry would go play hero and _he _would be what made the hero come home.


	14. Nerves

**Disclaimer: **I still, tragically, don't own HP or its affiliates

**A/N: **Drabble 14 posted Sept 14  
Hehe I wrote this one on the train today, I was going for angst but I think it turned out more fluffy. *puzzled look*

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**Nerves**

They had been searching for spells for weeks, ever since Harry was shown the maze. Harry had a bad feeling about the entire thing; dreams from the summer kept coming back to him at an increasing pace.

'You're as ready as you'll ever be,' _he _proclaimed with far more confidence than Harry felt.

'I don't know if I can do it,' Harry admitted, absolutely terrified of what was to come. They could both hear it in the way his voice warbled and see it in how his hands shook.

Reaching over _he _grasped Harry's hands and waited until Harry locked eyes with him.

'I wouldn't let you go if I didn't think you could do this. If you can't trust in yourself, then please just trust me.'


	15. Butterfly

**Disclaimer: **I really wish I did own this then I wouldn't have huge uni fees to pay. I can dream at least...right?

**A/N: **Enjoy. Drabble 15: Tuesday 15 Sept 2009

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**Butterfly**

Harry knew on some level that Mrs Weasley was doing what she thought was best but he was being suffocated by her. Constant invasive questions about his life, prompting him to spend time with Ginny, telling him what his behaviour should be like. As the Boy-Who-Lived he should be a role model.

Sometimes Harry felt like a butterfly without wings. When he entered the Wizarding World he left his cocoon only to find himself trapped in a glass jar.

Sometimes he just wanted to fly away.


	16. Music

Disclaimer: Rowling owns it all. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Drabble 16: Published Wednesday 16 Sept 2009.

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**Music**

Dumbledore had once said that music was the greatest magic of all. Sometimes Harry wondered what the sound track of his life. He could just hear it now.

As his parents died perhaps a sad song that would express all the pain to come and emotions he didn't know how to express himself.

His childhood, a slow death march full of despair.

Finding out he was a wizard, a happy tune of hope and adventure.

His struggles with Voldemort were full of the sounds of clashing cymbols, loud gongs and thunderous beats.

Sirius' death he thinks would have been a cacophony of sound; loud and soft, angry and morose.

And the moments _they_ were together, the moment _they_ would reunite during holidays - well Harry liked to think _they _made a music all _their_ own.


	17. Glasses

**Disclaimer: **I really wish I did own this then I wouldn't have huge uni fees to pay. I can dream at least...right?

**A/N: **All I seemed capable of writing today was fluff *pouts* so this is the first in several fluff-monsters to come. But at least its not major fluff. Enjoy. Drabble 17: Sept 17th

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**Glasses**

_Snickt!_

'You have got to be kidding me!' Harry panted as he flopped back onto the bed before turning to glare at the man in bed with him. 'Shut up it's not that funny.'

_He _continued laughing as _he _rolled on top of Harry and peered down at the floor to see broken shards amongst their hastily discarded clothes.

'Next time take them off first.'

'But I can't see.'

'Then I'll be your eyes.'


	18. Jealousy

**Disclaimer: **Everything HP belongs to JK and Warner Bros.

**A/N:** Drabble 18 - Sept 18th 2009. And the fluff continues.

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**Jealousy **

Harry watched _him _as _he _laughed with _his _friends, as _he _smiled at the girls in _his _house and all Harry could feel was a tightness in his chest.

What he was feeling was irrational. Harry knew _he _loved him. Saw it in every action when they were together. But by Merlin it would be nice to hear. Just. Once.

As Harry turned to Hermione to answer her question he never saw _his _head rise to look at Harry. He never saw _his _eyes light up with adoration as _he _gazed at Harry or flash with anger as _he _saw Hermione's hand rest on Harry's arm.

It may have felt irrational to Harry but it seemed a common trait in them both.


	19. Answers

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own

**A/N: Drabble 19 - Sept 19th.**

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**Answers**

With Dumbledore's funeral over, his arrangement's with Hermione and Ron complete, and the meeting with the Minister finished Harry was finally left alone to drift across the school grounds. Harry knew _he _would know where to meet and his suspicions were correct, for when Harry ducked under the branches of their tree he was pulled into a possessive hug and a soul stealing kiss.

When breathing finally became an issue Harry pulled back. "I missed you," three simple words which expressed so many diverse emotions. They contained everything Harry had felt in their months apart.

"I love you," the perfect answer.


	20. A Quest

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is the intellectual property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I am unfortunately neither.

**A/N: **Drabble 20 - Sun 20th Sept. This one is a strange mix between Angst and Fluff - and I shall name it Flungst! You can consider this one to have taken place a few minutes after _Answer _and shortly before what is to happen in the next drabble. Enjoy.

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**A Quest**

"Are you insane? No, don't answer that. You are insane. Just like that Merlin damned crackpot Dumbledore. You're going to get yourself killed."

"It's the only way."

"You'll get yourself killed."

"It's the right thing to do. We can't all hide away. We don't all have secret apartments amongst the Muggles to keep us away from the war."

"You'll die."

"Then i'll go to my death willingly. Happily," despite being honest Harry knew it was the wrong thing to say immediately as _he _flinched and looked away as if _he _had been punched.

"Why the hell did you bother telling me Harry? It's clear you don't care what I truly think. Were you looking for confirmation that you're doing the right thing? If so you came to the wrong person," _he _paused here as if _he _would say more before shaking _his _head and beginning to walk away.

"Wait!"

"Why Harry? You're looking for Voldemort's horcruxes. You're going to die and I don't want to stand around and watch you throw your life away for Dumbledore's cause and a world that would never appreaciate it."

"Please," Harry called and _he _couldn't help but pause, "just promise you'll be around when it's all over. Please..." The don't leave me was heard even if it wasn't spoken.

"How can I promise you that when you can't even say you'll try to come home to me?"


	21. Lightning

**Disclaimer: **I still, tragically, don't own HP or its affiliates

**A/N: **Drabble 21 - Tue 21st Sept. This drabble is at the end of the conversation in drabble 20. This one is dedicated to the awesome Tanuki-Mara who was my 100th reviewer and then she wrote a MarcusHarry drabble *applause and hugs* This is the first story i've had over 100 reviews on so thankyou. Enjoy and please review.

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**Lightning**

_He _felt as if _his _heart was being pulled from his chest as _he _and Harry finally separated. Watching Harry walk away all _he _wanted to do was cry. It was clear that Harry didn't know. He didn't understand that this quest really would end in Harry's death and _he _would go with Harry into the next life.

Damn Dumbledore. Damn Voldemort. Damn that lightning bolt scar.


	22. Ring

Disclaimer: I dont own any recognisable characters. All HP belongs to JK Rowling.

**A/N:** Drabble 22 - Tue 22nd Sept 2009

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**Ring**

_He _spent an entire summer searching for it. After the horror at the end of the Triwizard Tournament _he _knew _he _had to give one to Harry. _He _couldn't imagine a single moment where Harry might doubt the extent of _his _feelings for him.

So _he _searched.

And it was fruitless.

No matter where he looked, in the Muggle or Wizarding worlds, nothing was good enough for Harry. Nothing screamed out at _him_ as an affirmation of their love.

So _he _kept searching.

And finally it was _his _father that found it. Of course _his _parents didn't know who it was for. _He _didn't think they were quite ready for that yet, but they knew there was someone.

It was perfect. An old family heirloom which had went unused for generations. A simple gold band depicting two wolves wrapped around each other.

Months of searching. Weeks of agonizing over the idea that _he _may not have one for Harry. Only for it to come from the family vaults.

Two wolves. Protecting their mates, their pack and their territory.

It was perfect.


	23. Summer Rain

Disclaimer: Rowling owns it all. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Drabble 23: Published Wednesday 23 Sept 2009. I wrote this then read over it and realised why I had been humming Summer Rain by Belinda Carlisle the entire time. *face palm*

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**Summer Rain**

Bill and Fleur's wedding was like nothing Harry had ever seen before. The colour, the people, the sheer happiness was a completely new experience. But best of all _he _was there with him. Harry knew he could never pay Fleur back for that small gift, for understanding that love can blossom in strange places.

Harry couldn't really pay attention to the ceremony. It all seemed to develop into a blur. All he could think of was the feel of _him. _Their thighs pressed together in the row they sat in. Both of them disguised as others. Here at least they could be together without anyone batting an eyelash at them. But Harry knew it wouldn't last forever, he had to leave soon and they would part for what could be the last time.

Harry rose with the rest of the guests and drifted over to the reception area. As music came on and the newly married couple danced their first dance the heavens opened above them. Squeals mixed with laughter as the guests were showered on and then Harry was pulled onto the dance floor by _him. _

Spinning around Harry couldn't help but stare into _his _eyes trying to put across every emotion he felt. The two of them laughed until they almost cried. Whispering goodbyes for what may be the last time. The rain on their skin disguising the tears.

As the Death Eaters apparated amongst the guests and everybody split apart, fighting or escaping. Harry knew that though it may be the last time they saw each other they'd always have that final dance in the summer rain.


	24. Neutral

**Disclaimer: ***looks at uni fees that arrived today* Somehow I don't think I own this.

**A/N: **Drabble 24 - Thu Sept 24 2009. I'm off to spend the weekend with my girlfriend so unless I get a few more out today I won't be updating until Tuesday. Hope you enjoy.

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**Neutral**

Whilst growing up, coming from a neutral family opened a lot of doors. It meant there were no restrictions on who he could be friends with. There was no stigma attached to the family name.

In Slytherin house it meant there was less pressure on _him._ No family member in the Dark Lords inner circle. No Death Eaters to watch out for. The family was neutral and _he _was a go between in interactions between Slytherin house and the rest of the school.

After Hogwarts being from a neutral family in such troubling times gave _him_ at least a small chance for success in a world where everything Slytherin was essentially taboo, but at the same time it would protect him from Death Eaters.

The only problem with a neutral family though was it meant you could not become involved in the war no matter your personal opinion.

Family first.

It was difficult. It didn't mean that their relationship mattered less. It didn't mean that _he _didn't support Harry. That _he _didn't believe in his goal to rid the world of Voldemort.

It didn't mean _he _didn't love Harry.

Harry was _his_ everything. _He _just hoped he understood.


	25. Joy

**Disclaimer: **Everything HP belongs to JK and Warner Bros.

**A/N: **And i'm back. With lots of updates as well. Here is drabble 25 published Tue 29 Sept

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**Joy**

Luna fought by _his _side. Though it may have seemed strange to others to see them working together it was the only place she wanted to be.

Luna knew the moment Harry died. It was like all life drained out of _him. _Cutting down a Death Eater _he _stumbled clutching _his _head looking as if everything _he_ had ever loved and all emotion _he _had ever felt had all been stripped from _him _in one vicious swoop. Luna in her own way felt this pain. For once in her life her mind was clear of hazy visions and the indistinct murmurings of the Fates and that above all else terrified her.

Seconds trickled by as they stood frozen amongst the carnage before, finally, thankfully, joyously, the visions came back to her. Time began to move again. _He _regained colour and the will to move. And they knew somehow, somewhere, Harry had come back to them.

Luna had never felt such joy.


	26. Whispers

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own

**A/N: Drabble 26 - Sept 29th.**

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**Whispers**

There were so many things Harry wished he had had the courage to say to _him. _As he walked to his death in the Forbidden Forest he thought of all the things he had whispered to _him _whilst _he _slept on those nights where the insomnia plagued him. Things he never had the courage to say outside of their bed, in the middle of the night where no other could hear.

Harry wished he could have those moments back, maybe then he would be brave enough. He wished he could start again.


	27. Prejudice

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is the intellectual property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I am unfortunately neither.

**A/N: **Drabble 27 - Published Sept 29

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**Prejudice**

'Are you insane, Harry? He's a Slytherin. He's…'

'No, Sirius! No! I can't believe you of all people would say something like that. So what if he's a Slytherin that doesn't change anything.'

'Harry, you don't know…'

'Stop! You … I … Both of you, you don't know anything about him. You don't care that he's male, older than me, pureblooded but you care about his house? Who the hell do you think you are? I'm not the insane one. I'm in love with him. Nothing you ever say will change that. I'll choose him if I have to.'

An oppressive and shocked silence filled the room as Harry turned and left, the slamming of the door solidifying Harry's displeasure.

'You're an idiot, Sirius,' Remus spoke sadly before he to left the room.


	28. Anxiety

Disclaimer: I dont own any recognisable characters. All HP belongs to JK Rowling.

**A/N:** Drabble 28 - Tue 29th Sept 2009

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**Anxiety**

_He _was pacing. Harry should have checked in by now. Why hadn't he checked in? _He _knew in _his _heart what this meant. The end was nigh. Harry would soon realize if he hadn't already.

_He _abruptly stopped pacing and once again returned to staring at the letter that had arrived only a few minutes earlier.

_Will you die for what you live for?_

_L.L. _

That Lovegood girl had always known more than a mere mortal should have.


	29. Golf

**Disclaimer: **I still, tragically, don't own HP or its affiliates

**A/N: **Drabble 29 - Tue 29th Sept. Yay I caught up! Thankyou Kay for pointing out all my horrid grammar issues.

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**Golf**

'I don't understand.' _His _statement was met with an exasperated sigh. Harry turned to watch _him _struggle with the club with a vaguely amused expression.

'It's just a game.'

'But all you do is stand and swing.'

Another sigh followed _his _complaints before Harry finally responded, 'You said I could pick what we do today.'

'But-'

'It was my turn to pick our date and I want to golf.' With that Harry turned, hit the ball _he _had struggled over, and then began walking away, never noticing the smirk on _his _face as _he_ watched Harry leave.


	30. Understanding

**Disclaimer: **Everything HP belongs to JK and Warner Bros.

**A/N: **Drabble 30 - Wed 30 Sept 2009. I hate Ginny.

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**Understanding**

Ginny Weasley glared at the Common Room from where she sat huddled in the corner. Harry had snuck out yet again.

Ginny knew she may not be as smart as Hermione but she liked to believe she was still fairly smart. She was pretty, She played Quidditch. She could give Harry a proper place amongst the Weasley's. She could give him a family.

Ginny just didn't understand. She wanted to know what this other girl had that she didn't. What attracted Harry to her.

Wouldn't she be surprised.


	31. Comfort

Disclaimer: Rowling owns it all. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Drabble 31: Published Friday 2nd October. A day behind but I fell asleep early yesterday.

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**Comfort**

Harry was being picked on again. The damn witch Umbridge would be the death of him. How was he suposed to get through the year without killing anybody? Fuming Harry stormed out of the room and down the corridor, the jeers of his class mates echoing in his ears. Rounding a corner he was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled into an unused classroom. Large arms wrapped around his stomach as a face came to nuzzle in his neck.

'Harry,' his name was drawled by the figure holding him. His only response was an unintelligible murmur of _his _name.

Slow kisses were dropped upon his neck, as his body was slowly, torturously manipulated. As Harry's body hit the wall and _he _dropped to his knees, all thought flew from his mind. What did it matter why he was upset if this was the result?


	32. Goodbyes

**Disclaimer: **Everything HP belongs to JK and Warner Bros.

**A/N: **Drabble 32. Published 2nd October. Most likely crap - just wrote it. Doesn't seem to flow right.

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**Goodbyes**

Due to the rush surrounding their departure from Hogwarts after Harry's dream of Mr Weasley he never had a chance to say goodbye to _him_, Harry only hoped that they had at least a small chance of meeting up over break. As he traipsed the halls of St Mungo's Harry wondered what _he_ would be doing today. Did Purebloods truly celebrate Christmas? Did it hold any type of meaning for them? He would ask Ron except he was so tired of being in their presence at the moment. Maybe Sirius would be able to tell him but Sirius was constantly being irrational these days and would probably verbally attack him should he bring it up.

A soft call of his name was all the warning he got before he was pulled into a searing kiss in the doorway to a room. _He _must have snuck up on him whilst he was distracted by his thoughts. Despite his surprise Harry eagerly responded. Damn the consequences should they be caught. As they finally pulled apart Harry sent _him _a puzzled look.

'You never said goodbye.'


	33. Christmas

**Disclaimer: **I wish I owned.

**A/N: **Drabble 33 - Published Oct 4. I reread the books recently, I never realsied how much of a douche Sirius was.

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**Christmas**

Sitting next to Sirius opening gifts was an experience Harry never wanted to forget.

Reaching for a small brown package he opened it to find a glass globe with two figures dancing under gold and silver coloured snow. Harry felt a blush spread across his cheeks as he remembered that particular afternoon spent with _him. _Harry should have known _he _was planning to send another gift.

Sirius leaned over, his arm wrapped around Harry's shoulders, to whisper in his ear, 'Do I get to know who she is?'

Harry paused before answering, knowing this would make or break their relationship.

'I think you'd like him.'

The answering squeeze to his shoulder let him know all was okay. This was what Christmas with family must be like.

'As long as he's not a Slytherin,' Sirius commented before laughing uproariously.

Or maybe everything wasn't okay.


	34. Silver

**Disclaimer: **Don't set the lawyers on me...unless they're tall, dark, handsome and Eastern European then please do

**A/N: **Drabble 34 - October 4th

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Silver

There was a lot of colour association in Remus Lupin's life.

Red was the colour of acceptance, friendship, family and love.

Gold was the colour of courage, of the pack's first cub, of promises kept and second chances.

Silver. Remus hated silver more than anything else. Silver was the moon, was the wolf. Silver was everything that had ever gone wrong in his life. Silver was the colour associated with evil, with Death Eaters, with the destruction of everything good, it was the colour of betrayal.

But when Remus Lupin saw _him _follow his thirteen year old cub around, Moony may have been howling happily inside, Remus had just found something he hated more than silver.


	35. Vulnerable

**Disclaimer: **Checks passport and birth certificate. Nope still not British.

**A/N: **Not going to be around tomorow so this one is up a day early. Drabble 35 - Published 4th October

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**Vulnerable**

They had been together, in some form, for four years now and Harry believed himself ready to say it. _He _had constantly been saying it since they had first met but understood Harry's aversion to saying the words. But Harry was ready now, at least he thought he was, he was pretty sure he was, maybe now wasn't the best time, he could do it later, he could –

'Harry,' the voice broke him free from his thoughts and rapidly degenerating confidence, 'you okay babe?'

A somewhat shaky smile was the only answer _he _got before Harry slowly made his way over. Pushing _him _down onto a seat Harry began to pace.

'I need to say this and I need you not to interrupt,' Harry began, 'If you do I won't have the courage to say it. Just … We … Circe I didn't think it would be this difficult. We've been together for four years and they've been brilliant and so much fun. You've shown me so much and taught me and cared for me and listened to me and it's been great. These last few years have been the best of my life and every memory with you is full of safety and happiness and it's been four years and heaps of fun and … and … I love you!'

Time Froze.

At least it felt like it had.

Throughout the entire rant _his _face had slowly begun to go blank as _he_ prepared himself for the breakup. But once those three words registered it was like fireworks had gone off inside _his _head. A blinding smile stretched across _his _face and a bubbling laugh erupted from _his _mouth. Harry stood silently, fretfully, and watched the transformation terrified that now he had said it maybe _he _would move on. Everybody he had ever loved had left him at one stage or another so why would this be different. As Harry's confidence withered and tears came to his eyes as _he _continued to laugh Harry began to back away from _him. _

'Just forget – Oomph!'

Harry lay on the floor being straddled by _him _as _he _rained kisses on every part of Harry _he _could reach.

'I love you too.'


	36. War

**Disclaimer: **I do not own...yet

**A/N**: drabble 36 published Oct 6th 2009. Spent the day doing an essay about PTSD in returned servicemen and war neurosis. Then I wrote this. War seems to be on my mind today. Anyway the term bellumaddo that is used by Luna is the latin translation for war bringers, I thought it would fit. Little creatures that congregated around warriors.

* * *

**War**

War was a funny thing Luna mused as she watched Harry walk away from _him. _To twist the words of that Muggle writer, some were born for war and some had war thrust upon them. Harry was a strange mix of both. War would dictate his life and yet he still tried to run from the inevitable. Did he not see the _bellumaddo_ that floated around his head?

War would bring out the best in Harry. It would bring all his best features to the forefront, features that had been hidden by the self-deprecation enforced on him from years of neglect. As Luna watched _him _walk towards her she only hoped that the future would come out as she had seen.


	37. Bored

**Disclaimer: **Checks bank account...nope.

**A/N: **Drabble 37 - Oct 7th. As you may guess I was on a train and slightly bored.

**

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**Bored**

Harry was bored. Really, really, really bored. Slightly twitchy bored. The type of bored where you get the urge to set something on fire just to alleviate the monotony.

Harry was alone. Of course this was due to a mixture of choice (the Gryffindors were being obnoxious) and circumstance (_he _had been called home for the holiday). Really what was he supposed to do now?

Alone and bored. So not a good combination.

Harry adjusted his position where he lay in the middle of the Quidditch pitch. Already he could feel a twitch developing in his eye.

B.O.R.E.D.

It was in moments like these that Harry truly wished he had let the Hat sort him into Slytherin, at least then he would have a proper excuse to follow _him _home.


	38. Unbelievable

**Disclaimer: **JK Rowling owns everything except my undying loyalty...that belongs to Tolkien

**A/N: **Yay Drabble Time! October 8th Drabble 38.

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**Unbelievable **

_He _could barely resist the urge to glare at everyone who was watching them and murmuring. It was hardly their fault that by the time they managed to detach themselves from each other and make their way (separately) to the library there was only one table left. Did these people not have their own studying to do? What was so amazing about Harry Potter studying at the same table as a Slytherin? It's not like the tables were all that small.

Really _he _didn't know how _he_ was expected to study for his NEWTS. People were staring, _he _could hear Harry breathing from where he sat on the other side of the table, _he _hadn't had sex in days, and Harry was still upset over his fight with Sirius during the Easter Break. This was insane.

Just as _he _was about to reach for _his _wand and hex them all Harry finally rose his head and gave them all a baleful glare. Watching them scatter and hearing silence finally return to the library, _he _couldn't help but be amazed at how people reacted to Harry. It's not like he would actually hurt them, he was practically as dangerous as a teddy bear… one with razor sharp claws anyway.

It was unbelievable.


	39. Drown

**Disclaimer: **Still not owning.

**A/N: **Drabble 39 - Oct 9th. Relatively short one today. Enjoy.

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**Drown**

_He _felt like _he _was drowning. Every moment without Harry was torture. Every day it got harder to breathe without him, as if a pressure sat on _his _chest slowly crushing _him. _

_He _wanted to breathe again. When _he _was with Harry _he _didn't have to struggle to keep _his _head above the water. Harry was _his _life buoy and without him _he _would drown in the murky depths of life.


	40. Glimpse

**Disclaimer: **She stole it from me. *nods whilst backing away from scary looking suits*

**A/N: **Drabble 40 - October 10th

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**Glimpse**

All things considered breaking into the Ministry wasn't as hard as Harry thought it would be. Finding the Horcruxe and then stealing it was slightly more difficult but not overly so.

No, the hardest part of the entire escapade was when it came to leaving. After so much time had passed and having separated on rocky terms, catching sight of _him _in the Ministry and then having to leave, that was by far the hardest thing Harry had had to do on the quest so far.


	41. Angry

**A/N: **Drabble 41 - Oct 11th

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**Angry**

Harry flicked through the pictures of Egypt that Ron had sent him. Picture after picture of pyramids, of the Weasley's together, of tombs and exotic places. Pictures of places Harry had never even dared to dream of.

And he was angry.

Angry as he read Ron's complaints about his brothers, about his parents, about the heat, and how boring the tombs and pyramids were. Harry was angry because not once did Ron ask how he was, not once did Ron take a second to appreciate what he truly had. It was always the same.

Harry was angry at the world and knew only _he _would try to understand why.


	42. Promises

**A/N: **It's a tincy-tiny one today people. Drabble 42 - October 12th. Review-age is appreaciated.

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**Promises**

'I didn't think you'd be able to sneak out,' Harry muttered self-consciously.

'I promised you I would. Besides why would I willingly miss a moment spent in your presence?'

'People promise lots of things. Doesn't mean they'll keep them.'

'I will. Always.'


	43. Family

**A/N: **wrote this about two-minutes ago. Did not turn out how I expected. Just finished watching X-Men Origins - Wolverine and Sabertooth are hot, it adds a whole new layer to brotherly love *leers* Drabble 43 - October 13th

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**Family**

'I've met someone,' the words effectively managed to silence the family as they sat around their dining table.

'That's wonderful darling!'

'When will we meet her?'

'What's her family's political status?'

'Where'd you meet her?'

'Is it serious?'

'How much do the parents earn?'

'What age is she?'

Question after question erupted from _his _families mouths as they sought to wrestle every detail from _him. _As questions began to repeat _he _finally stopped them and answered quickly in turn.

'It is wonderful. Not for a while. Light. Hogwarts. Very serious. Orphan. Fifteen. I love him.'

With that _he _spun around and left, leaving _his _family to shout amongst themselves over this newest development.


	44. Tattoo

**Disclaimer: **Still not owning.

**A/N: **Late I know but um... I managed to break another laptop *cringes* So not a good month for me and laptops. Haven't been well, fainted whilst holding cup of freshly boiled tea. Have scald marks all down my hip and thigh and I drowned my dad's laptop. Very restricted internet access so updates might be dodgy until I can fix something up. Sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes i'm doing this in a rush.

* * *

**Tattoo**

'Are you sure about this? I mean it is permanent. What if you get it then, I don't know, get tired of this... of us?'

'I won't ever get tired of us. Never! I want to do this. This way i'll always carry a piece of you with me. A piece of us.'

'That was so cheesy,' Harry mock complained even as a blush stole across his face. 'Looks like i'll be getting one as well.'

Hours later when they left the Muggle tattoo parlor holding hands, each had a tattoo of two wolves wrapped aorund eachother with _forever _written below.


	45. Animal

Disclaimer: Rowling owns it all. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Drabble 45: October 15th

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**Animal**

'You don't have to do this for me,' Harry murmured quietly as he watched _him _prepare.

'Of course I don't but I want to.'

'So much could go wrong.'

'and if it does you go straight to Madame Pomfrey. Nobody else. Especially not Moody. Promise.'

Promise. Just… be careful.'

'Always,' with that _he _stripped the rest of the clothes from _his _body, sat on the ground and began to meditate.

Harry kept his eyes glued to the scene before him desperately searching for any clue that may say something had gone wrong.

A soft whimper followed by another were the only warnings Harry got before _his _body began to change. Limbs stretched and contorted. Hair turned to fur and grew rapidly. Canines lengthened and the skull changed shape. The few seconds it took felt like hours for Harry before, finally, _he _stopped changing and in _his _place stood a wolf.

'a beautiful, glorious wolf,' Harry whispered as he stretched trembling fingers to scratch at _his _ears.


	46. Nostalgic

**Disclaimer: **Still not owning

**A/N: **Have a new laptop. Yay! and plenty of time off as well. Thanks for all the well wishes, I'm off to see a cardiologist tomorrow so fingers crossed that goes well. Drabble 46 better late than never

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**Nostalgic**

It was an interesting experience for Sirius to watch Harry. Sirius wasn't as close to his godson as he wished he could be but he knew he had time to work on their relationship. Watching Harry since he came to Headquarters Sirius began to see less and less of Lily and James in him. It broke his heart. As much as he loved Harry he longed for those short moments when James shone through. Remus didn't understand why Sirius had this longing; then again Remus had time to recover from James' death. He's had time to watch Harry. Time Sirius has only recently got.

So Sirius watched Harry. Watched him pace at night because of nightmares that plagued his every sleeping moment. Watched him push food around his plate because he simply couldn't eat. Watched him sneak into the library when he thought no one was watching and then submerge himself in the old books. Sirius watched Harry receive letters from a strange owl that would never deliver them when anyone else was in the room and as Sirius watched Harry's face light up in joy at what he read Sirius couldn't help but be brought back in time to when James used to smile at him like that.


	47. Poison

**A/N: Drabble 47**

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**Poison**

Harry was a poison. He knew he was. Every person he loved either died or left him. He either destroyed people's lives or impaired their health. No wonder everyone left him. He wouldn't want to hang around either. Sometimes he wished he could run. Just drop everything and leave and never look back. Those thoughts always made him feel incredibly guilty though. Harry would be having such negative thoughts and then _he _would smile at him or hug him or touch him and all of a sudden Harry would remember exactly what he would be leaving behind. It broke his heart.

Harry knew that he was poison. That he should leave _him _now before he destroyed _his _life. But he just couldn't do it. It destroyed him to even think of it. Life would be worthless should he send _him _away. Harry may have been poison but _he _was a balm for Harry's soul.


	48. Thankful

**Thankful**

There is very little in this life that Luna Lovegood is thankful for. Fate took her mother from her early on, her father's beliefs about magical beings left her family nearly destitute, her quirky personality a result of growing up alone and influenced by her father had left her ostracized at school. Indeed there was very little that Luna was thankful for and every one of them was to do with Harry Potter.

Luna was thankful that Harry had befriended her in her first year.

She was thankful that Harry trusted her with his most important secret.

She was thankful Harry ensured she joined the D.A. and so met new people and friends.

She was thankful that Harry looked out for her, helped her, protected her, saved her, understood her, loved her and because of this she knew that Harry would come for her when he found out she was taken. She knew Harry would continue to save her for as long as they knew each other.

Luna was also thankful that _he _would be there as well to help her save Harry.


	49. Villain

**Villain**

Harry stared at _him_ as they stood across from each other waiting for their captains to shake hands. It always amused Harry how _he _could never play the villain. On both sides of him there were huge hulking masses of sneering, smirking and snarling Slytherin's and amidst them all _he _simply stood calmly. Catching _his _eyes Harry couldn't help but smirk in amusement. _He _was a gentleman even on the Quidditch pitch where barbarism was the standard mode of behavior.

As they launched into the sky and _he _immediately stole the Quaffle, Harry could just imagine the complaints that would be issued after the game by the Gryffindor's. Complaints about how the Slytherin's cheated, played unfair, how unskilled they were, how villainous they were.

As Harry's gaze flicked over _him_ he wondered whether _he _would be able to play the villain. _He _needed to be rewarded for good behavior and role play was always fun.


	50. Addiction

**A/N: **Drabble 50. The italics come from HPOtP page 646-647 of the Australian version.

* * *

**Addiction**

'_You… this isn't a criticism, Harry! But you do … sort of … I mean – don't you think you've got a bit of a – a – saving-people thing?' _

Harry couldn't get those words out of his head.

_Saving-people thing_

It was as if all his efforts over the last few years meant nothing to her. _A saving-people thing. _What was that supposed to mean! All the things he gave up, all the hopes and dreams, the possibility of a fresh start, it was all ripped away as soon as he set foot in the Wizarding World and she had the gall to throw it back in his face as a _saving-people thing,_ that Harry was _acting the hero. _

Well fuck them. They acted like he was addicted to his fame, to the adrenaline, to being _the hero_.

Harry spun around all the while ranting under his breath. He didn't need them criticizing everything he did. How could he trust them not to be talking behind his back? How could he trust them when clearly they didn't trust him? Now, with Sirius dead, he needed their support more than ever but just couldn't bring himself to go to them, he didn't want Ron's obliviousness or Hermione's self righteousness. He wanted –

He wanted warm arms wrapped around him. He wanted trust and love and the forgiveness that he couldn't give to himself at the moment. He wanted _him. _

As a frustrated and heart wrenching sob ripped through Harry he felt warm arms close around him. Sweet nothings were murmured into his ear as he was dragged into a seat and held. Forgiveness was what he received.


	51. Heaven

**Heaven**

Heaven was a strange concept. Harry remembered it from when he was young. The Dursley's went to church every Sunday rain, hail or shine. Not because they particularly believed in what was being preached but more because it was expected of an average, normal family. When Harry was around six or seven years old there was one particular sermon that stood out in his mind. The priest spoke of heaven and how wonderful it was, that only the good went there. There was no suffering in heaven and everyone was happy. One line stood out "We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come", Harry remembered wanting to die at that moment so that he could escape the Dursley's and go to heaven. He knew that his parents would be there waiting for him. After all he had heard aunt Petunia telling Dudley that "the freaks parents were in heaven".

Harry was more realistic these days. He knew the likely hood of him getting into heaven, if there was one, was slim. But then again Harry didn't think heaven was the same thing anymore. Lying in their bed together in the Room of Requirement, _his _arm wrapped around Harry, _his _breath on Harry's neck, secure in the knowledge that _he _loved him, Harry couldn't help but think he was already in heaven.


	52. Forbidden

**Forbidden**

_He _knew what they had would be forbidden should any one find out before Harry was seventeen. Even then society would frown on them. Two heirs from old pureblood families, one of them the only surviving member. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor would probably cause as much shock in the community, especially that Gryffindor.

No they would have to continue being a secret no matter how much he hated it. But then again that which is forbidden is always better.


	53. Apple

**Apple**

Never before in _his _life had _he _been jealous of a piece of fruit.

_He _stared across the Great Hall at Harry eating an apple. _He _knew _he _wasn't the only one staring either. Did Harry not realize how erotic he was when he ate? Then again it was Harry _he _was talking about, Harry was oblivious to his own sex appeal. A choked moan sounded next to _him _and _his _attention was once again riveted on Harry.

Harry's red lips stretched around the apple. His red lips stood out against the green of the apple. Biting into the apple his lips dragged across its flesh as he pulled the apple away from his mouth. Swallowing quickly his pink tongue flicked out and ran across his bottom lip collecting the juice left behind from the apple. Bringing his thumb up to his mouth Harry sucked off the juices that had ran across his hand, only to begin the process all over again.

_He _didn't know if _he _could stand this torture much longer. _He _was simply thankful Harry was coming to the end of his meal or _he _might have had a problem. Every suck and lick and flick was going straight to _his _cock. As Montague shuddered where he sat next to _him_ _he _thanked Circe that there weren't any bananas around Harry. _He _may have just had to massacre everybody in the hall.


	54. Runaway

**A/N: **Italics from page 176 of DH (v. Aust). Imagine this as if they then descended into the rest of the fight where Remus pulls his wand on Harry and then storms out.

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**Runaway**

'_My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?'_

'You're a coward Remus and you're trying to run away from your responsibility. You knew the possibilities when you married Tonks and now you're abandoning her. Abandoning everything she meant to you just to runaway on a quest you know nothing about.'

'How – how dare you? You're hardly one to talk as it is Harry. You think you're not hurting _him_? You're not running away from _him_? What makes you think _he_'ll even stick around to wait for you? What makes you think – '

'Stop before you say something you'll regret Remus.'

'Why would I regret it? Don't preach what you can't practice. You can't point fingers when you've done exactly what I'm doing with a lot less good reasons.'


	55. Losing

**Losing**

Sometimes I fear that I'm losing him. It feels like I'm losing him. Intellectually I know that he loves me but sometimes I wonder if I'm enough. Sometimes I'm sure I'm not enough.

He's the Boy-Who-Lived. He could have anyone. And now I've graduated and he's still there and the world loves him again. One day he'll realize he could have a real, recognized relationship if he just left me.

The letters are getting fewer and further between. At the same time the news of him coming out of Hogwarts is getting more and more difficult to bear. I'd fight for him of course but when he makes up his mind I'm lost, nothing will stop him.

The pick of the Wizarding Worlds' sons and daughters.

I love him.

I need him.

It feels like I'm losing him.


	56. Love Letters

**Love Letters**

They began the morning of September 2nd at the beginning of their sixth year. It wasn't anything suspicious in the beginning. An innocuous owl dropping a simple letter, not even bothering to stop. The first time it happened Hermione didn't take any notice to it. After all Professor Lupin had promised to write to Harry. The next day when it happened again, well Tonks and Harry had gotten very friendly. By the end of the week Hermione began to think that maybe Harry was really missing the members of the Order that he had befriended. After the third week Hermione was puzzled. What was Harry saying to them that would prompt so many responses? Was he depressed? Keeping secrets from her? Why didn't they write to her, she knew so much more than Harry.

By November Hermione had started watching Harry's response to the letters.

He never opened them at the table.

He never mentioned them after receiving them.

He never seemed surprised to receive a letter.

So Hermione decided to follow him out of the Great Hall one morning. Keeping as quiet as she could Hermione followed Harry as he left the castle to stand outside. Peeping from behind a column in the court yard Hermione watched Harry's expression as he opened the letter and began to read.

Hermione was stunned.

Harry was blushing. And smiling!

With the delicacy that Harry handled the letter with Hermione could only assume that this was some sort 'Love Letter' like the ones she read about in books as a young girl.

But really who would write to Harry?


	57. Curse

**A/N: **Italics comes from page 66 of Philosophers Stone (irish edition). Harry to Hagrid before getting on the train to return to the Dursley's.

* * *

**Curse**

When Hagrid burst through the door of the shack and told Harry he was taking him away it was the best moment of Harry's life to that time. Then came the catch. Hagrid told him what had happened to his parents and the Dark Lord. Harry's hope for the future shattered around him. It only seemed to get worse from then.

Going through the Leaky Cauldron and then Diagon Alley with all these people shaking his hands and congratulating him Harry could feel himself becoming more and more disillusioned with this mystical world he had only just entered.

'_Everything thinks I'm special,' he said at last. 'All those people in the Leaky Cauldron, Professor Quirrell, Mr Ollivander … but I don't know anything about magic at all. How can they expect great things? I'm famous and I can't even remember what I'm famous for. I don't know what happened when Vol – sorry – I mean the night my parents died.'_

And that was the nub of the problem for Harry. Even amongst freaks he'd be a freak. He'd never have a chance at proper friendships, never know who was in it for his fame or for his friendship.

What was that saying about fame being a curse?


	58. Ghost

**Ghost**

'How do you think ghosts are made?' Harry questioned as they lay in a tangle of limbs and post-orgasm bliss.

'You have the strangest pillow talk,' the amused reply came before a stretch of silence.

'Well … how?'

'We're taught that it's from fear of death. In pureblood circles it's seen as a great act of cowardice.'

Harry rolled onto his back to stare absentmindedly into the distance as he contemplated what _he _said.

'The Muggles have stories about ghosts as well. People come back as ghosts as a result of unfinished business. Sometimes a person will become a ghost so they can watch over the person they love the most until they join them in the afterlife.'

With that said Harry was silent again. Only their soft breathing interrupted the quiet until _he _reached over and pulled Harry against _his _side.

'I like that idea.'


	59. Confused

**Confused**

**Harry P.O.V. **

The Earth is warm.

It feels as if it shouldn't be.

Voices murmur in the background.

A warm hand on my chest.

Why is everything so warm?

'_Is Draco alive?'_

Why would I care … or care?

I hear insect noise.

What about _him? _Is _he _alive? Or Luna?

I nod.

'_He is dead!'_

Am I? Is this real?

I'm lifted and we're moving.

Water hits me. Is it raining?

'_Harry Potter is dead.'_

Movement. The stones are warm. Standing. Eyes open.

I see _him._

'_Avada Kedavra'_


	60. Exhausted

**A/N: **Was going to make it longer but the children trick-o-treating kept interrupting. Gah! It's not even celebrated in this country.

* * *

**Exhausted**

Moans

Flesh slides against flesh.

A body arches into the one above it.

Gasps.

Whimpers.

Thrust after thrust.

A tanned hand tangles in black hair before pulling the head back and exposing the throat.

Lips descend. Teeth sink into the flesh.

Moans.

Green eyes sparkle with lust and love.

Thrust.

Clench.

Moan.

Repeat.

Lips meet.

Thrusts increase.

Moans.

Eyes roll.

They collapse.


	61. Death

**Death**

Everybody knew the story of Harry Potter. The Boy-Who-Lived. The legendary defeater of the Dark Lord at the young age of fifteen months. It was celebrated every year.

October 31st meant several things for the Wizarding World. It was Samhaim, when the spirits of the ancestors were closest to the mortal realm. It was the end of a reign of terror. It was a day of freedom.

_He _remembered when _he _first asked about why everyone celebrated this night. He was four years old.

'_Mum why are they happy?'_

'_It's the first time they can celebrate freely in a long time.'_

'_Why?'_

_His mother crouched in front of him absentmindedly straightening his clothes as she spoke._

'_There was a man many years ago who wanted more power. Sometimes wizards and witches who have a lot of power become controlled by it. It's too much pressure for them. Well this wizard gathered a lot of support, he promised to change things for Purebloods. But his power became too much. He lost control and started doing bad things. Everyone was very scared. And then something amazing happened. This wizard went to the home of a family who had been hiding from him and he killed the mother and father and when he tried to kill the little boy he couldn't. Magic works in wondrous ways and the bad wizard died and the little boy lived. Harry Potter. That's why everyone is so happy. They're celebrating freedom and second chances and a little boy who saved them.'_

'_But … but Harry Potter lost his mummy and daddy. Who looks after him now? Who tucks him in and reads him stories and feeds him and bathes him and teaches him about his family? Why are they so happy when he's all alone now?'_

_As his mother reached forward and pulled him into a hug, tears stung her eyes as she saw the logic in his questions and she couldn't help think out of the mouths of babes comes pearls of wisdom._

That was the last day his family ever celebrated the defeat of the Dark Lord.

October 31st meant a lot of things to a lot of people.

It was Samhaim.

It was the end of a reign of terror.

It was a day of freedom.

It was the day Harry Potter became an orphan.

There was no need to celebrate that.


	62. Balls

**A/N: **Not what I was originally aiming for but the mind wants what it wants. This was extrememly awkward to write without mentioning his name. So sorry if it reads weird.

**Balls**

Hearing footsteps approaching Harry propelled their bodies into the nearest abandoned classroom. Harry pressed _his _body against the wall as they waited in breathless silence for the person to pass.

Once the steps had faded into the distance Harry felt his body pulled closer as hands drifted down his back and a mouth attached itself to his neck.

Harry let his hands run over the body pressed tightly to his own before stopping with his hand hovering above _his _belt.

The mouth detached and a hot breath blew over his ear before murmuring

'Are you a seeker or not?'

Harry plunged his hand in.


	63. Alone

**Alone**

When Harry told _him _the prophecy and _he _realized what it meant _he _couldn't breathe. Life stopped. The truth was horrendous. Looking at Harry's face though _he_ knew _he_ had to be strong.

_He_ needed to be strong for Harry, a helping hand to keep him steady in the times to come. _He_ would need to carry Harry when he could no longer stand in the face of a monster. Protect him however _he _could.

'I can't do this alone.'

It broke _his _heart that Harry would even think he would need to.

'You won't have to.'


	64. Bound

**Bound**

No matter how much Harry loves _him_ sometimes Harry believed he'd be better off without _him_. He'd be able to return to his blissful ignorance. He could go back to seeing the world in black and white. He'd be able to ignore the jealousy and hypocrisy of Ron and Hermione. He could go back to a life where the Wizarding World was a special place full of fantastical things.

Usually after Harry has these thoughts he puts down whatever he has been eating or drinking and promises himself never to touch them again.


	65. Save Me

**Save Me**

Small fists banged against the inside of the cupboard beneath the stairs in vain as a little boy sat inside crying.

The house was empty of all other inhabitants. It had been for days.

The child had run out of food and only had one bottle of water left. The cupboard stank. The child hadn't been left out in too long.

He cried for his mother. His father. Anyone.

He couldn't understand why no one would save him.


	66. Betrayal

**Betrayal**

Certain things set Harry off. Things everyone knew not to mention in his presence unless they were prepared to defend themselves.

Bad mouthing his parents.

The virtues of the Dark Lords cause.

Calling people mud-bloods.

These were just some of the things that pissed him off.

One day Harry left Dumbledore's office and proceeded to destroy two classrooms in a pitch of fury no one had seen before. When asked later about it all Harry was able to squeeze out from between clenched teeth was,

'It was all for the greater good.'

He then destroyed more school property.


	67. Treasure

**Treasure **

'If you make Harry choose you will lose.'

'You can't know that.'

'Harry doesn't need a parent any more. When he was 11, 12, 13 he may have wanted one but he didn't need it. He has something so much more important.'

'And what's that?'

'Someone that will put him first. That will allow him to make his own decisions even if they don't agree. Someone that will listen. Who doesn't have to divide their time between the Order and him. Who will hold him at night when he's too scared to sleep or let him cry when it becomes too much. That will treat him as if he is the greatest treasure known to mankind. Someone that loves him because he's Harry. Can you say you would be able to do the same?'

'. . . '

'I thought not.'


	68. Secrets

**Secrets**

Marcus Flint was an observant man despite popular opinion that he was a descendent of a troll. He had to be. He had survived eight years in Slytherin House after all. As an observant man he knew lots of things about his housemates, a necessity should he ever need to prompt ... agreement ... from his peers.

He knew Montague was having sex with a Hufflepuff Mud-blood.

Malfoy had broken parts of his arranged marriage contract.

He had pictures of Zabini in a compromising position with a Gryffindor ... or three.

Crabbe still slept with his 'blankie'.

Parkinson had a crush on a Weasley.

But he also noticed other more subtle things. Like the way Potter always checked the Slytherin table when he entered the Great Hall. How _he _constantly checked on Potter, always knowing where he was. How the air was always charged when they were in close proximity and relatively alone.

And Marcus wouldn't say anything about it either. After all only a true Slytherin could have kept that a secret for so long and Slytherin's deserved respect.


	69. Mischievous

**Mischievous**

Fred and George set up the Mistletoe in strategic positions around the entrance to the Great Hall. Since they weren't staying at Hogwarts for Christmas they thought it best to start their … festive cheer … early this year.

This would be a masterpiece and of course it was strictly aimed at fostering inter-house cooperation. After all Fred and George were philanthropists at heart.

_Magical Mistletoe: A plant after your heart_

Perfect caption for a new product.

Fosters love in strange places.

Lowers your inhibitions and negative perception of the other person involved.

Now if they knew it would work.

Hence setting it up in the Great Hall. Two people from opposing Houses were bound to walk in at the same time.

Fred and George watched in eager silence as students began to drift in all inadvertently avoiding the Mistletoe. Until finally they saw the flash of Gryffindor red enter at the same time as someone wearing a Slytherin uniform.

And chaos erupted.

Harry Potter was pressed against the wall by a towering Slytherin with his tongue down Harry's throat.

Turning to each other they stated in eerie synchronization whilst joy filled their eyes.

'Best Prank Ever.'

Until, that is, they turned back to see Harry's legs wrapped around the Slytherin's waist, his hands held above his head by one of the Slytherin's hands as the other quickly worked its way into his shirt.

'Perhaps it was a bit too strong.'

As the boys were finally separated and Fred and George were pulled out of the Hall by McGonagall nobody had seemed to notice that the Mistletoe had moved away whilst the boys had been kissing.


	70. Darkness

**A/N: **Italics is a flash back to when Harry is young. This can be considered a companion piece to Save Me.

* * *

**Darkness **

Harry couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He had to get out.

Fists banged against the inside of the cupboard in a deserted hallway in Hogwarts as Harry tried to fight off the darkness encroaching on his sight. Why couldn't he breathe?

Some older students had thought it would be funny to lock him in. They called him a snake and snakes like dark places don't they? Childish laughter with a dark edge had echoed through the small space as the door slammed shut.

'_Dad the freak took some of my food.'_

'_I'll teach you to steal from my Dudders.'_

_SLAM_

_Hahahahahahaha _

The past was starting to mix with the present. How long had it been? When would someone know he was missing? Would they even care?

Harry could feel the tears gathering in his eyes. He hated small places. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone?

'_Please Uncle Vernon let me out.'_

'Please let me out.'

Harry's breath started coming in gasps. He tried to calm himself down but couldn't. The darkness of the room was creeping over him. He couldn't see. He started to cry as he continued to bang against the door. He didn't ask for his mother or father to save him this time. He knew they weren't coming even in this new magical world.

He cried at the thought that he couldn't escape the dark no matter where he was. He didn't understand.

The door opened.

Light flooded the room, illuminating the small figure of twelve year old Harry curled up on the floor.

Harry dived from the room and into the arms of his savior.

He had someone to save him now.


	71. Dawn

**Dawn**

Harry looked around the Great Hall watching as the dead were mourned and the living reunited. Remus was dead along with Tonks and Fred and countless others. But the war was over. They had won. That had to count for something.

Didn't it?

They would rebuild and hopefully evolve.

From destruction and heartbreak came the dawn of a new era.

One in which they would hopefully be free to be themselves.


	72. Midnight

**Midnight**

Midnight was a symbolic time for Harry. It was when he celebrated his birthday. A time when, growing up, he was guaranteed peace from the Dursley's.

It was rendezvous and secret whispers.

Midnight was when the past, present and future merged and in that second no body, but the two of them, mattered. Societies norms and expectations ceased to dictate his actions. He wasn't an orphan or the Boy-Who-Lived. In that second he was Harry and they were free.


	73. Dusk

**A/N: **Slight problem, I can't remember what Drabble i'm meant to be up to for the date. I think I'm ahead... maybe? Someone help.

* * *

**Dusk**

'It's not goodbye... just see you later.'

'I wish I could believe you.'

'Why can't you trust me?'

'You'll be in London and I'll be in Hogwarts. There is a whole world out there for you to see and you'll see that you don't need me. Definitely not as much as I need you.'

'Harry,' the name was sighed with a mix of sadness and affection, 'sometimes things look like they're coming to an end but they don't. It's a pause before something new and often better. Those moments are like promises for a better future. It's like twilight, the day is coming to an end but you know that the sun will continue to rise. You just have to wait out the dark. We'll be apart for a while but when we're together again it will be even better, it will mean we'll have forever together. This is just the dusk before the new beginning. Just trust me in this.'


	74. Green

**Green**

"I wonder what happened..."

"Did he lose a bet?"

"I heard it..."

"... cursed ..."

"Slytherins caught him ..."

The whispers continued to follow Harry and his friends all the way to the Quidditch pitch and up into the stands as they waited for the Slytherin and Ravenclaw match to begin. Harry's bright green hair shone for all the school to see. He may have deliberately lost a bet with Ron but it was worth it to be able to show _him _some support.


	75. Predatory

**Predatory**

Harry lies naked on the bed provided by the Room of Requirement. Arms stretched above his head and tied to the bedposts whilst his legs are left open.

_He _walks around the bed trailing _his_ fingers over every bit of skin _he_ can reach. Imprinting the image of Harry so pliant and trusting into his mind forever.

A brush of finger tips against Harry's calf has him shuddering. Trailing across his stomach and Harry lets out a whimpered moan. Down his thigh and Harry's eyes dilate.

_He _never tires of learning Harry's body.

Finally the noises Harry makes drives _him _to the end of the bed where _he _climbs on and pauses on hands and knees to once again survey the puddle of goo Harry had turned into. A devilish grin possess _his _face before _he _pounces.


	76. Months

**Months**

Time seemed to drag by. No matter how much _he_ tried to distract _himself_ _he_ couldn't stop thinking about Harry and where he may be now.

One day passed, two days, a week, two weeks, a month passed, still no word from Harry.

One month turned into two months and finally _he_ sees him again.

He looks bad. Then again the hospitality of Malfoy Manor under the Dark Lord can hardly be considered good. He's alive at least. That can't be said of everybody that entered that Manor in recent months.

He's alive and in _his _arms and _he _never wants to go so long without holding him ever again. _He _never wants to let him go.

_He _wants to hold Harry and keep him. For days and weeks and months and years and forever.

But _he _can't. Not yet anyway.


	77. Sunset

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay in drabbles. I've been away for the last few days and without internet. I should be able to catch up in the next few days between studying and exam. This chapter is in a letter format. Harry and Mystery man are writing back and forth every day. There are time jumps between letters and this is very AU.

* * *

**Sunset**

The Dursley's have locked me away. When I'm not doing work they keep me locked in my room. Food is minimal but it comes.

Six weeks seems too long. I miss you already. How am I meant to get through this?

H

---

_Mother has presented me with another marriage proposal. She doesn't seem to learn that I won't be marrying any girl. If you need to leave let me know. _

_43 days until we're together again._

_---_

The Walrus is getting vicious. There are problems at work for him. Aunt has started avoiding him as much as possible. I've tried writing to the others. No response.

H

--

_There's food attached. You should be able to make it last. Any word from the others yet? I've started ciphering money from the main account. If you need help it's there. _

_I miss you  
30 days. _

--

_There was blood on the last letter. What's going on Harry? I'll come for you if you need me. When are you leaving? _

_25 days._

--

Vernon has been drinking again.

Ron, Hermione and the others still haven't responded. I know they're getting the letters and Hedwig comes back fine. Why aren't they responding? I need you to send more food if you can.

I need out and soon.

I miss you.

--

_Why aren't you responding Harry? It's been three days since the last letter. _

--

I told them what was happening at the Dursley's. They told me not to exaggerate and tell lies. They thought I was a liar. After everything we've been through and how I appeared they didn't believe me.

Charlie has been helping me. He cleaned me up, provides potions to help. I think you'd like him. He keeps me company and the rest away from me.

I love you

--

_You don't need them. _

_I love you_

_8 days_

--

Was our friendship worth nothing to them? They don't even seem to realize that they've thrown away our years together. This is the end and they don't seem to know or care.

Every day is a day to long.

--

_2 days_

--


	78. Fireflies

**Fireflies**

"_So... I really think I will have to ban these two from playing Quidditch ever again," she said, looking from Harry to George and back again. _

Harry could hear _his _footsteps coming up behind him from where he sat in the middle of the Quidditch pitch with the snitch from the game clasped in his hand.

'Harry –'

'I don't want to talk,' the reply was snappish but Harry couldn't find it in himself to care.

'Then we won't,' with that said _he _sat beside Harry and watched the sky in silence. Minutes passed without any sound but the hooting of owls in the forest and the creaking of the trees in the breeze that blew around them.

'I can't even fly anymore,' it was said with such heart break that _he _had to reach over and pull Harry into his arms. 'What am I supposed to do? Flying made me forget. Now I'm stuck on the Earth and its all Malfoy's fault. She even confiscated my broom.'

'Then I'll take you flying on mine.'

With that _he _stood up and held out _his _hand to pull Harry up before reaching back down and grabbing the broom _he _had brought with _him. _

'You belong in the air. We'll just have to fly at night for now.'


	79. Gold

**Gold**

It was a hideous colour. He couldn't stand it. In the beginning it wasn't so bad but now he was sick of it.

Gold decorations, gold wall paper, gold couches, golden virtues.

He was the golden boy, part of the golden trio.

Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold.

Gold may be pure but it could be tarnished.

He was never truly gold. He was tarnished from the beginning and he was sick of everybody acting like he wasn't.

Gold was malleable. It could be shaped as you saw fit. It could be changed into what you needed. It was manipulable.

Harry refused to be golden any more.


	80. Happy

**Happy**

Harry sat on a swing in the park near Privet Drive in the middle of the night having snuck out after the Dursley's went to bed. It was the countdown to his 14th Birthday. A cloaked figure made their way across the park to stop before Harry.

Pushing back the hood on the cloak the figure then pulled Harry into a hug.

'Happy Birthday.'

'It is now that you're here.'


	81. Embarrassed

**Embarrassed**

Harry could feel his face steadily turning red as he changed in front of his roommates. He could feel their eyes on his back where red scratches and love bites could be easily seen.

'Holy shit!'

Harry yanked his shirt over his head in a rough movement attempting to hurry through the rest of his changing in order to escape their questioning.

'Who's the lucky girl?'

As Harry rushed for the door, his face flaming with embarrassment, his eyes caught those of Seamus', who smirked. He at least knew the likely hood of a girl leaving those marks on Harry's back was slim.


	82. Universe

**Universe**

When _he _heard about Harry and the conflict with Quirrel _he _felt _his_ heart stop. Panic built inside _his_ chest as _he_ desperately awaited word of Harry's condition.

The teachers refused to tell the students about his condition and it was inconceivable that _he_ should ask. So _he_ snuck into the Hospital wing.

Watching Harry lying on the bed, so small and innocent looking, so fragile, _he_ felt _his_ heart hurt. _He_ would do everything _he_ possibly could to stop something like this from ever happening again. _He_ refused to lose Harry, especially before _he_ even had him.

Harry was the sun and _his_ life revolved around him.

Harry Potter was _his_ universe and _he'd_ be damned if _he_ let him hurt any more.


	83. Sphinx

**A/N: **Is very behind on updates. But i'm catching up. *nods self-importantly* Don't mind this chapter. It's crap. It just refused to allow itself to be written.

* * *

**Sphinx**

The sphinx holds the secrets of millenniums.

Of course it tells these secrets in the riddles it speaks when a foolish human manages to cross its path. But they seldom seem to realize it.

A Sphinx simply knows things, an inherent part of their magic.

So when this particular Sphinx was faced with Harry Potter she knew immediately that he was destined for great things. She had a job to do and he had a riddle to answer.

And if she managed to add some hints about his future well foolish humans seldom see.

Lucky Harry Potter was anything but foolish.


	84. Champagne

**Champagne**

It wasn't often that they got to sneak off together. This weekend however was a vitally important one.

Their anniversary.

With such troubling times they lived in and the stress from Umbridge and exams this was an anniversary _he _wanted Harry to be able to remember happily for years to come.

So he had Harry convince the Weasley twins to cover for him and then snuck them off the grounds. They would celebrate this one properly even if they couldn't let everyone know.

Apparating and then a pre-arranged portkey brought them to a cottage on a vineyard in the middle of the Champagne region in France.

They had the place to themselves for the day and they would make the most of it.


	85. Noise

**Noise**

The noise was blaring.

Constant noise.

In his head.

All around him.

Why couldn't there be a moment of quiet?

Somewhere?

Anywhere?

His head was cluttered with noise.

He was going insane.

The only time he was spared from the noise was when he was wrapped up in _his _arms.

So when Harry lay in his bed in the tower and heard the snores of his roommates increase in volume he felt he had good reason for curling up and crying whilst wishing he was locked away somewhere else with held in _his _arms.


	86. Destroy

**A/N: **I thought I should just warn everyone that things are very AU from here.

* * *

**Destroy**

Harry was made to destroy. The prophecy never said it in as many words but Harry knew the truth of it. He was only born in order to fix the mistakes of an entire society.

He hated it.

He hated them.

Without destruction his life would be meaningless.

He would be without purpose.

He had always felt he was destined for something better, bigger than the Dursley's and his cupboard. Or maybe he had hoped he was.

He was made to destroy. To live amongst death and destruction and heartache. It was made all the more obvious as he slowly collected the Deathly Hallows.

He was made for death.

He wished he wasn't destined for such things.

They had talked about it before. What Harry would do should he survive the Dark Lord. It was early in their relationship of course. After Fourth year they couldn't deal with talking of a future they knew might not be a possibility. But they had talked. And Harry was glad they had. It gave him an idea and something to strive to survive for.

The British Muggle Military had a special department for those with a Wizarding background. Usually full of squibs or older Muggleborns who returned to the Muggle world. They gave training in shooting and tactics and other weaponry. So Harry snuck away from the tent and Weasley and Granger whenever he could to return to Britain and special training with the military.

Death Eaters wouldn't die by themselves. And they certainly wouldn't stand around and watch people attack their Lord. So Harry thought it only logical to deal with them in advance.

And it gave him a future away from the hypocrisy of the Wizarding World.

Harry was created to kill and destroy. And he would in order to protect people. He was doing it for the Wizarding World and then he would do it for the Muggles.

Most importantly though, he would do it for _him. _


	87. Books

**Books**

Hermione couldn't understand Harry's peculiar fascination with Pure Blood culture. He constantly read books about it, practiced the simpler rituals and began holding himself in a different manor. Of course she never would have known this except for following him around and watching him when, she thought, he didn't know.

So Hermione wasn't all that surprised when on the search for Horcruxes Harry had some of the books with him. She was surprised however that he didn't react as badly as they thought he would when Ron left. Shrugging and then pulling out one of his books was not the response they were looking for.

Eventually, after weeks of living together in a tent, Hermione began noticing a pattern in his reading. He would always begin and end with the same book. And always have a goofy grin on his face when closing the book.

So one day whilst Harry was out searching for the Horcrux and creating other plans Hermione riffled through his things until she found the book. Opening it to a well worn page she was shocked to find a photograph of Harry absolutely beaming in happiness. Of course her ever observant eyes unfortunately missed seeing the other body that swept from the picture as she opened the page.

Hermione had never realized Harry was so vain as to stare at himself for ages on end.

Maybe he had a complex she could fix?


	88. Carnage

**Carnage**

Tuesday November 1st saw the Wizarding World take a breath of terror free air. They were free again. The Dark Lord was gone.

_He _remembered that day surprisingly well for a then three and a half year old child.

Shooting stars, owls flying through the day in heavily Muggle populated areas, Wizards dancing in the street where anyone could see them. Two things in particular stood out in _his _mind though. Seeing _his _parents crying and hugging for the first time in _his _life. And a name on the lips of every person _he_ saw. Harry Potter. The Boy-Who-Lived.

It was all well and good the first few weeks of celebration. Everyone toasting the little boy who saved them. Of course no one bothered to wonder where he was now. But then people had to begin returning to their normal lives. They had to clean up the carnage left behind by eleven years of terror. They had to rebuild.

Growing up _he _never really noticed it. _He _spent years preoccupied by the mystery of where little Harry Potter disappeared to. _He _spent years hearing the whispered stories of what life was like under the reign of terror that the Dark Lord brought. _He _heard it from both sides and one thing they agreed on was that everything had changed on October 31st that year.

They were delusional. All of them. It was only when at Hogwarts that _he _truly realized this. Nothing had changed. The government was weak and corrupt. The conditions which created the Dark Lord still existed. Prejudice was rife in society. Muggleborns and Magical Beings were still second class citizens, if they even counted as that much. And they still expected someone else to save them.

The Dark Lord rose again.

A year of quiet, then disappearances, then out right attacks.

Carnage. Death. Destruction. Suspicion. Paranoia.

And once again they waited for someone else to save them.

The only thing that separated this war from the one that ended thirteen years earlier was that this time they had already designated someone as their savior.

And this time he refused to allow the savior to be abandoned afterwards.


	89. Distant

**Distant**

He was being distant again.

Introversive.

Even Luna had noticed.

Harry was disappearing inside his own head.

They had to pull him out or lose him.

_He _hated when this happened.

This year was worse than ever. This year they had left him with the Dursley's longer than ever. This year _he _hadn't been able to sneak in to see him. Sure they moved him to Grimmauld Place but by then it was too late.

Harry was right there, next to him, leaning on him, and yet he wasn't. He was a million miles away where _he _couldn't reach him. Where _he _couldn't understand him.

_He _just wanted Harry back. Some type of recognition that Harry was in there somewhere.

Anything.

It went on for at least a month.

Luna and _him _kept a constant watch on Harry. Watched that he ate, went to class, slept.

And then one day he was okay again.

Harry was smiling and laughing. Eating and Sleeping. His grades picked up.

And when they sat outside together, _his _arm wrapped around Harry, and Harry stared off into space, cold and distant. _He _knew it was all an act. Harry wasn't okay yet.

But he would be. Eventually.

And _he _could pretend for as long as Harry needed _him _to.


	90. Heat

**Heat**

_He_ always felt heat when Harry was around. Harry's magic was so strong it was like a heat wave that fell over you when he came near you. _He _loved it. Loved the feel of the magic wrapping around _him_. Cocooning _him_.

Harry of course had never realized it did that until Moody mentioned it to him. How it told everyone he was there. He needed to suppress it for the element of surprise. So Harry dedicated time to learning how to suppress it.

The heat left.

_He _felt bereft.

_He _hadn't realized how much the heat meant to _him. _

It was acceptance. It was love. It was confirmation that Harry was still alive.

_He _missed it.

So _he _made a new rule.

Harry was no longer allowed to suppress it when it was just them together.

_He _wanted the heat. The love. The acceptance. The confirmation.

_He _wanted to burn.


	91. Home

**Home**

Sirius had escaped on Buckbeak and Harry knew he should be rejoicing. He was alive and free and that should count. Shouldn't it?

But on another level he couldn't help but feel cheated. Cheated of a home. Cheated of parental love that he should have received.

He was angry. Angry that Sirius had put Peter before him twelve years ago. Angry that he put finding Peter before him again now.

Warm arms wrapped around him as he stood on the parapet where he had fare welled Sirius. He knew as he said goodbye that everything that Sirius' presence promised had just slipped through his fingers and he would never get it back. A home, family, safety. It was all gone.

The arms tightened and a face nuzzled into his neck. Warm breath floating across him. He may have lost the chance for those things as a child but one day he would have them. He would build his own home, he would have his own family and those warm arms would bring him safety.

At least _he _had always put Harry first.


	92. Stare

**Stare**

There were thousands of eyes watching his every move as he crossed the stage to shake hands with the interim Minister and accept his Order of Merlin First Class.

Thankful. Adoring. Lustful. Hostile. Hateful. Contemplative. Cunning.

A thousand eyes with a thousand different emotions.

And they were all staring at him. Every single one of them were here to see him accept the award and even more would watch this moment in the numerous pictures that would be in newspapers around the world.

But for once it didn't matter to him. Harry didn't care that his every movement would be commented on. He didn't care that they would write about is robes, his hair, his mannerisms, his speech, his Lordship rings, how gracious he appeared, how the Minister greeted him as a friend, how the public adored him.

None of it mattered.

Because Harry could only feel one pair of eyes. He could only see one pair of eyes. Could only feel the emotion in those eyes. He only cared what _he _thought of him.

Of everyone who would ever see the photos or memories of this moment.

Only _he _mattered.

And _he_ could stare all _he_ liked.


	93. Options

**Options**

Harry never had a lot of options in his life. Never any true choices. Choice A and B would always result in the same thing anyway. He was pushed along a path that was chosen by all those around him. For their sake and not his own.

Never his own.

It was this lack of options that saw him live at the Dursley's. Go to Hogwarts. Be sorted into Gryffindor. Fight against the Dark Lord. Search for the Horcruxes. It was never truly up to him.

So on those few occasions when _he _managed to sneak Harry out and give him a few moments of choice Harry always did something extreme. He got a tattoo. He bought a motorbike. He left the country.

Then the war ended and Harry was finally free of everybody he started making choices nobody would have expected of him.

He didn't go back to school. He joined the Muggle army. He announced he was gay. He lived with his male partner.

There was just one important thing though that he didn't have any choice with. Who he loved. After all why would he need any other options?


	94. Spanking

**Spanking**

"We've been together a while now haven't we?"

"You know we have."

"It was a rhetorical question."

"I'm supposed to know that how?"

"Moving on. We've been together a while now and we trust each other. Don't we?"

". . ."

"That wasn't rhetorical."

"Yes Harry."

"So you can answer me honestly then. And know I won't react negatively or anything."

"Of course."

"Good. I want to know about your fetishes. Or just anything you want to try."

" . . . Why?"

"Well I heard these two Hufflepuffs talking and they mentioned spanking. So I looked it up –"

"You looked it up?"

"Of course, you can find lots of things in the library. Anyway I looked it up and then it mentioned all these other things so I looked them up and well … the book has a lot of good ideas."

"What book?"

"Karma Sutra. See, look!"

". . ."

"Omph! Mmmmm! Ooh do that again!"


	95. Reminder

**Reminder**

It was a strange moment for _him _when he heard that one of his class mates had died in a Death Eater raid, cut down by an Auror as he attacked a family. Then the story of another Slytherin, a year older, who was murdered the same night by the Death Eaters. It was a startling reminder of the ways in which _his _life could have went had _he _not invested so much of _himself _in Harry.

Bletchley was dead.

Derrick was in Azkaban.

Montague had left for the East immediately after Hogwarts.

Warrington had followed him a few months later.

Bole was still in the Dark Lords service.

Every notice about Death Eaters or the war served to remind _him _that _he _was lucky to have escaped. Reminded _him _not to take what _he _had for granted. Reminded _him _that there was a possibility of life after the Dark Lord and _he'd _just have to hold out and wait for it.

Everything served as a reminder that one more dead Death Eater or former house-mate seeking refuge overseas was one less person standing between Harry and a future.


	96. Heart

**A/N: **It's the count down people. The last 95 days have seemed to fly past. I'll be away until tuesday so i'll either put all the chapters except the last one up tomorrow and leave you guessing until Wednesday or i'll put them up when I get back. This chapter can be from either of their perspectives. So have fun guessing.

* * *

**Heart**

You know that feeling, where your heart is beating a mile a minute. You start to sweat. You feel nauseous. Clammy. You get the shakes.

You're doing everything you possibly can not to vomit everywhere.

Terror.

Nerves.

Sheer mind blowing fear.

That's what I feel.

It's stupid I know. Intellectually I know that there's nothing to fear. It's just a pity that my brain has decided not to function coherently today.

At best he'll say yes.

At worst… well it's best not to think of it.

So I'm all dressed up. On the verge of a heart attack. Sweating. Nauseous. Clammy. Shaking. Terrified.

Down on one knee.

His eyes have gone wide.

That's a good sign. Isn't it?

"Will you marry me?"

Please let that be a good sign.

He's gaping. Eyes are wide. He's struggling to find words. I'm still down on one knee. If he doesn't say something soon I'm going to chuck.

I think a rash just broke out on my neck.

He's staring at the ring.

Still silent.

He reaches out. Clasps his hand over mine and cover the rings.

"Goddess yes!"

I laugh.

Then I vomit.


	97. Messenger

**Messenger**

As _he _opened the door of _his _small Muggle apartment to see Remus Lupin standing at the door _his _world came crashing down around _him_.

'Mr – '

'No,' he cut through, 'what do you want?'

'I'm simply the messenger today. My wife has had a child. He's been named godfather. If you want to see him he's there now and you might not be too late to catch him. If not he wants you to read this.'

With that said Lupin passed over a small piece of paper and left. After all these months _he _finally had confirmation Harry was still alive. Shutting the door behind _him he _flicked the letter open to find an address scribbled in a corner of what was clearly a goodbye letter.

_I write this knowing it will most likely be the last thing you ever hear from me_…

That was as far as _he _got before dropping the letter and running out the door. If this would be the end of Harry then _he _would be there to experience it with him.


	98. Shadow

**Shadow**

I hate myself sometimes for all the pain I know I cause _him._

It sounds conceited I know. What sort of person realistically has the ability to influence a person to such an extent? Then again I'm not some normal person. I'm Harry Potter the-Boy-Who-Lived.

I see it though. The strained smiles. The way _he_ doesn't laugh like _he_ used to.

I love _him_ so much that I hate myself.

There's a shadow that covers _him_ now. Ever since I first met _him_ it's been slowly developing. _He_ tries to cover it up. But I see. It's the only thing I can see.

Every year, every life threatening incident and the shadows in _his_ eyes deepen until finally even when we're together I can see it clearly.

Sometimes I wish _he_ didn't love me if only to save _himself_ the pain. Then I see _him_ really smile and I wouldn't wish _him_ anywhere else.

I'm selfish like that.


	99. Radiate

**Radiate**

Sitting in the spectator stands during the first Slytherin-Gryffindor match of Harry's 6th year, _he _couldn't help being amazed by the level of violence and animosity taking place in the match. _He _never remembered it being that bad when _he _played.

Harry swooped narrowly avoiding a bludger sent by Crabbe and then dodging Malfoy's attempt to physically knock him off his broom. _He _felt _his _breath catch watching Harry fly. It did it to _him _every time. There was just something about Harry in those moments that was so different to when he was on land. It was as if the world disappeared and Harry was a normal student for a moment.

He radiated happiness.

And then he'd land.


	100. Moments

**A/N: **Here it is people. The end. Its been fun and certainly a strain on the imagination (I ran out of prompts for the last 10). I want to thank everyone that reviewed for all your positive encouragement. I hope you all enjoy and no one is to dissapointed by our mystery man.

* * *

**Moments**

Their relationship was an interesting one, full of ups and downs, complete bliss and heart wrenching agony. A relationship built and sustained through secrecy. One most would have thought doomed to failure.

But they were free.

Finally!

Free from obligations and expectations. Free from family and friends. Free from threat.

They could finally relax together. No more constantly looking over their shoulders fearful that Dumbledore or the Dark Lord would find out and use them against each other. They were free to love each other.

No more secrets.

Watching Harry sleep, the rise and fall of his chest confirming his continued existence, brought _him _unparalleled joy and relief. _He _could admit, if only to _himself_, that sometimes _he _thought they wouldn't make it this far.

But they had made it.

And they were together. Forever if _he_ had anything to say about it.

Out of everything they went through however, it was moments like these relaxed in bed together, with Harry's eyes drifting open and a sleepy smile graving his face, that Adrian Pucey lived for.


End file.
